Humans are diverse in nature, and
our diversity as human beings is undoubtedly the bane of our poor or lack of inter-personal relationship. We are diverse in race, culture, backgrounds, religion, beliefs, ideology, politics, and also in temperaments. Despite this, diversity is the beauty of human existence. All of these differences is intended by nature to compliment each other and add value to life. But this purpose is yet to be realized, and it appears to have more negative consequences on human relationships than the positive outcome of harmonious and good inter-personal relationships.
For a fact, if everybody were of the same race, culture, backgrounds, religion, or share the same belief, ideology, views and possesses the same traits, there wouldn’t be much conflicts as we relate often amongst ourselves. Obviously, it is because of theses differences and diversities that we often find it difficult to have a very free and lasting inter-personal relationship.
Poor inter-personal relationship skills has been one of the major causes of conflicts at the workplace. Perhaps, relationship between employees, between employers, between employers and employees, between a boss and his or her subordinates, or between a project manager and his project team members. Without a good inter-personal relationship skills at the workplace, then conflicts are definitely inevitable.
Human beings possess different characters, demeanor, reactions, ideologies, beliefs and temperaments. The ability to understand this, and being able to harmonize all these differences brings about a harmonious relationship, and reduces or totally eliminates conflicts. One major rule that can prevent conflict is:
TREATING OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”. A lot people often neglect this rule, but it is the first conflict prevention method. In other words known as “Conflict Avoidance”. Humans are full of ego, and at one point or the other, we often want to display this ego, because nobody wants to be seen as inferior to others or be humiliated. So the best way to prevent any conflict that may result from this, is to treat the other person like you want to be treated. Give to everyone what belongs to them, and never trample on anyone’s right. Some people are extremely aggressive and do not have the patience to bear a little humiliation or denial of right. If we can adopt this method of, treating everyone how you want them to treat you, and believe that everyone deserves respect, and respect for human dignity, I’m confident that we will have less conflicts and the world would be a better place to live in.
“AVOID BEING CONFRONTATIONAL”. A lot of people are unnecessarily confrontational, they’re extremely aggressive and quick to attack. But confrontation is not always the best approach in preventing or resolving conflicts, especially in situations were you’ll become a victim if the conflicts ensues. Wisdom and discretion should be the guiding principle.
Wisdom should be applied in dealing, managing and relating with people. Sometimes you don’t need to be confrontational, because confrontation can engender conflict, even in situations where a little patience and tolerance would have pacified it. Those who are peaceful patient, and tolerant actually makes best relationships, while immediate confrontation and being too aggressive can jeopardize the relationship. Confrontation should be the last option, only when you’re being pushed to the wall or your tolerant and patience is being frequently taken for granted.
Confrontation is not always the best method in trying to avoid conflicts at the workplace. So when next your boss or colleague acts in an unpleasant manner, avoid being confrontational, in order to maintain the existing relationship and avoid conflicts. It is a sure way of preventing conflicts and maintaining your dignity. Being tolerant and patient does not demean your personality, it only means you’re being diplomatic, discretionary, wise and peaceful. You definitely need to bury your ego, in order to maintain a peaceful and long lasting inter-personal relationship.
Self-interest or Self-centredness is another factor that hinders a peaceful and inter-personal relationship. Being over-conscious of yourself and always try to exhibit this character, will definitely ruin your inter-personal relationship, and consequently leads to conflicts.
Avoid being too over-conscious of yourself and try to be considerate of others, in order to sustain the existing relationship. Always look for avenues to help others actualize their dreams, because when you do that, you’re unknowingly making a great impact on them, and influencing them through your inter-personal skills. Fore more on this topic, please read my post on: “Sources of conflict at the workplace and how to manage it”.
Personality Traits and Temperaments. 
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