Living With A Typical Choleric Spouse:
I’ve often posited that most marital conflicts and challenges most couples often encounters in their marriage which consequently makes them feel bored and depressed in the marriage, that they also do sometimes regrets ever marrying who they had married, are usually due to some temperament incompatibility issues and also lack of understanding of personality traits of different temperaments.
For a perfect understanding of your spouse’s basic temperament and how both of you will be able to maximize your temperament strengths, and also manage your weaknesses, I want to recommend you order and read the temperament God gave your spouse by Art and Laraine Bennett. Order the bestseller now, for an in-depth understanding of your spouse’s temperament.
Different temperaments naturally typifies the personality or individual traits of different persons. Thus, the approach or strategy one may adopt to live happily and ☮️ peacefully with a particular person will be somewhat different for another, because they’re of different temperaments. Some persons often laments and complains about the attitudes and behaviours of their spouse, and sometimes compare their marriage to others, probably to that of a friend or colleague.
These comparisons aren’t healthy for your marriage. You must figure out what works for you. It’s because you do not understand the temperament of your spouse which often influences and controls their personality traits, and also figure out how to manage the inherent weaknesses associated with their temperament.
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In today’s post, and also in subsequent posts on marriage and temperament compatibility, we’ll be looking at how to manage and live peacefully with a major weakness of each temperament that is more pronounced, and many a times causes more marital conflicts.
First of, let’s start by considering how to live with an unemotional and very inconsiderate choleric spouse.
Some of the major weaknesses of a typical Choleric, which negatively affects all their relationships, whether Interpersonal or erotic relationships, is that they’re very unsympathetically inconsiderate of the feelings and emotions of others. Cholerics are by nature rarely emotional, highly unsympathetic, inconsiderate and very high-handed individuals.
They’ve also got the least developed emotions and emotional response of all the temperaments, especially when it comes to erotic relationships, like marriage. Unless they’re raised with love by loving and caring parents, cholerics will be very canterkerous and violent persons. And their 🥛 milk of human kindness and empathy will be almost dried up.
It’s for this reason, I’ll advocate for choleric parents, and perhaps every parent to critically look after their choleric kids and train them with enormous amount of love and care, so they’ll grow up to become somewhat loving and compassionate adults.
When it comes to erotic dating and relationships, cholerics are the only class of temperaments that are never pretentious about what they want. If they do not want you, they mean it. If they’re not attracted to you, don’t bother, they’ll never be. And if their mood isn’t favourably disposed to having intercourse at any particular time, my dear, you’ve just got to live with the moment. Trying to force or pressure them into getting down with you, will be a wasteful effort and you could also perhaps, get their verbal backlash. Cholerics are very clear about what they want, no beating about the bush.
In their marriage, their spouse will often complain and lament about their high-handedness, insensitivity and inconsiderateness of their feeling and emotions, and also their love for always making unilateral decisions. But in their characteristic manner, cholerics will vociferously lashout at them with the fact that they work tirelessly to provide all their needs and everything the family needs, and what more do they want. Without considering the fact that their partner equally needs their affection and attention.
Many cholerics had unknowingly quenched the initial blazing love and passion that existed at the beginning of their relationship. And some had also lost their marriage because of their unpleasant attitudes. Just after a kiss 💋 in the presence of the crowd during their holy matrimony, and soon after their honeymoon, cholerics seems to forget everything about love and romance. For work activities and meeting their daily goals and targets would’ve taken the place of intimacy, and commitment to their spouse.
Enough said about the idiosyncrasies of the cholerics. Let’s consider how best to live with them in marriage.
If you’re married to a choleric man as a woman, you can attest to the fact that he came for you. You never had to struggle to may be, get his attention or make the first move to make him realize that you’re interested in him. Even if you did, and today you’re both married and living happily together. It isn’t because you gave them the greenlight, the truth is that, he must have been observing you for a long time and his observations must have made him become interested in you, but he was probably too busy to make the move or initiate a conversation.
You do not choose cholerics, they choose who they want to be part of their lives. Cholerics, both female and male knows what they want, and they are double sure of it. They’ll often do everything to get what they want. It isn’t a matter of being desperate, but a matter of sticking to their goals and desires and achieving it, regardless. They’re goal- oriented personalities.
When a choleric is the first to become interested in you, and he or she is very passionate about spending the rest of their life with you, then that’s the basis of living in harmony with them and building a successful home. Other infractions in the marriage can easily be handled and dealt with, if that is achieved.
To live in peace and harmony with an unemotional and very inconsiderate choleric spouse, and perhaps with any other temperaments. You must know what makes them happy and sad, and also the things they like or are averse to. Read: 5 Weaknesses of Choleric Temperament That Negatively Affects Their Marriage.
For a typical choleric, they love work and activities, and also meeting their targets. They’re very goal-oriented persons. Their happy moments are when they are able to achieve their goals, whether career, financial or work goals for the day. Cholerics likes it when everything they ever wanted goes in their favour.
Whatever that makes a choleric not to achieve their goals or desires often makes them excessively angry and volatile. This anger and volatility could also turn to verbal and physical aggression in their homes. During this time, asking them too much questions or trying to persuade them to do anything will not work, it could even worsen the situation. So what do you do?
The best approach is to allow them have their time and space for that moment, to sort things out themself. In their angry and depressed mood, their brain and mind is fully activated to come up with suggestions about other ways they could achieve their goals or get things done differently.
The moment they’re convinced of their next actions or the next activity they could embark on, they’ll feel very relieved and free to talk to anyone. And if you as their spouse could also encourage them, and suggest to them other plans or ideas that eventually worked, then you’ve no doubt won their ❤️ heart. Cholerics rarely fails twice. If they fail once they’ll go back and re-strategize and come back stronger to achieve what they want.
Cholerics also loves making unilateral decisions without considering what anyone thinks or feels. This attitude often drives their partners’ berserk and also creates tension in the home. They are extremely decisive people, and they often wants everyone to abide by their decisions. Never try to go against their decisions, or argue with their opinions. When their opinions aren’t taken, they often sees it as an affront and a bruise on their ego.
In order to be able to manage this character and live peacefully with them. Do not try to force your opinion down their throats or make them feel theirs is not valid. Make your point and tell them what you think is best, then allow them make up their mind. When their decisions and opinions eventually leads to success, everyone will be happy, and the entire family will be in a joyous mood. But when it results in failure, they’ll be very pissed with themselves and could regret not listening to you.
Cholerics rarely regrets though. Don’t remind them of not listening to you, because they would’ve already learnt lessons from their mistake. This will clearly make them to subsequently consider your opinions, and avoid making further decision without getting your views.
For further reading about how to live with a typical choleric, I will like to recommend you order and read how to deal with a choleric husband by Claire Robin. Order the bestseller now on Amazon store for a very good and in-depth understanding of who a typical choleric husband is, and how to deal with him.
Conclusively, when cholerics are very happy, particularly in their marriage. Their sexual feelings and emotions will always be turned on, that you do not have to struggle much to get their attention to fulfill their marital sexual obligations. And more importantly, they also do not care about what anyone thinks or says about their heartthrobs as long as they’re happy and comfortable with them.
This are my personal thoughts on the best way to live happily with a very unemotional and unsympathetic choleric spouse. Feel free to share your experiences, so others could learn from you.
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Personality Traits and Temperaments. 