In my series of recent posts, I’ve been writing a lot about the cholerics and the most recent, being “How To Live With An Unemotional And Inconsiderate Choleric Spouse”.
My decision to take on each of these temperament categories is due to the frequent complains I always get from different persons complaining and lamenting about the characters of their spouses. Some have become so bored in their marriage that they feel like getting a divorce. But is divorce really the solution? Don’t think so. But it could be the easy option, rarely the best solution.
Marriage is about understanding the temperament of your spouse, and the inherent personality traits associated with their temperament. Then you figure out how to manage and tolerate their weaknesses and maximize their strength for the benefit of the family.
In today’s post and perhaps in other subsequent related posts, we’ll be considering a typical melancholy temperament and everything about them. Without wasting much time, let’s look at who a melancholy is:
Who Are Melancholies?
Melancholies are described as earth. Very accommodating and hospitable personalities. Just like the earth, when you take any action that’s inimical to it, it will react with very negative and unpleasant consequences. Similarly, eventhough melancholies are very nice, hospitable and accommodating individuals, when you hurt them, you will no doubt feel their callousness and rage. Though not easily prone to aggression and violence like a typical choleric, but they’re more ruthless and callous when angry.
Melancholies are very nice, friendly and reliable people. Infact, no other temperament is a more dependable and trustworthy friend than a typical melancholy. You can entrust your secrets with them, and be confident that no one else will hear or know about it.
Although, melancholies are not the first to come to you, they’ll often wait for you to come to them first and be seriously committed to them before they’ll wholeheartedly accept you and become acquainted with you. Some persons often see them to be proud and egocentric. But that’s not really the case. It’s rather because they’re introverts who loves to keep to themself and are not easily open to strangers.
They’re very introspective people who are overly concerned about what others thinks or feels about them. This attitude makes them become so critical of themselves, until they’ll begin to feel very inadequate and consequently lower their self-esteem. They’re very nice and simple on the inside but rarely do look it outwardly. However, of all the temperaments, they are the most misunderstood. This is because they’ve got a complicated and inconsistent character that’s hard to understand.
Their frequent mood swings makes them alternate between high-ecstatic and low-depressed moods. No one can understand their character more than those who lives, sleeps and wakes up with them. The only people that tends to understand melancholies too well, are their spouses and kids.
In their marriage or eros relationship, melancholies are very loving, caring and romantic to their ❤️ heartthrobs. They feel very deeper emotions than the other temperaments. Apart from phlegmatics who comes close, none other temperament is more attached and committed to their families more than melancholies. The well-being of their family is their utmost priority.
Once their family is fine, nothing and no one else matters. Being overly protective and jealous of their lovers and heartthrobs is a major aspect of melancholies. I don’t know between them and cholerics who are more jealous and protective of their lovers or spouses. But I feel it should be melancholies, since they’ve got the deepest inner feelings and emotions than cholerics.
Melancholies are very good spouses to their partners and good parents to their kids. They know how to balance work, business or career and making time to attend to their marital and family needs and responsibilities. However, major cause of conflicts in their homes is their frequent mood swings and nagging attitude. When things do not work according to their plan, it could lead them to depression. Nobody loves or enjoys a melancholy when they’re unhappy and depressed.
During their sad and unfavorable moments, withdrawal from activities, verbal aggression is not uncommon for them. This could be worse if they marry someone who finds it difficult to understand them or love them enough to tolerate and manage that aspect of their weaknesses. “5 Major Weaknesses Of Melancholy That Negatively Affects Their Relationship”.
Nagging is another major oddity of all melancholies. If you want to know if a typical melancholy nags, just ask their spouses. No other temperament nags and complains more than a typical melancholy. For their perfectionist tendencies or should I say their lack of satisfaction, and quest to always get things done the way they want it, often makes them nag and complain more than necessary. Unfortunately, melancholies do not even realize that frequently complaining about almost everything is nagging.
How Do You Live ☮️ Peacefully With A Nagging And Moody Melancholy?
It’s always adviced for melancholies to marry who they love sincerely and very find interesting. And the person should in turn love them beyond all their weaknesses, and understands them perfectly. It’s on this basis that the marriage will be fun and peaceful regardless of their basic temperament weaknesses. Read “Best Temperament Compatibility For Marriage And Relationship“. In order to be able to live in peace with your melancholy spouse, first off, you want to ensure that the love and bond between you both is strong and real.
Secondly, when they’re unhappy and depressed. Never try to trivialize or make jest of the unpleasant situation. Don’t criticize nor blame them during that moment, eventhough you know or perceive they’re the architect of their own predicament. The least you can do is to be calm and sober, make them know you feel their pain. Then gradually lift their spirits through words of encouragement and advice. Melancholies, whether female or male likes to be pampered by their loved ones. When you do this, you’re sure to always earn their undying love.
When melancholies nags and often complains about something. Don’t try to argue with them or make them feel their views or opinions is not being taken seriously or less important. For a male melancholy spouse who may be naive or less sophisticated than you are, never make him feel you’re more knowledgeable or sophisticated than they are. Doing so, is like adding fuel to 🔥 fire. Rather, find time to discuss whatever be the issue with them and give them very cogent and superior reasons and facts why their opinions isn’t the best.
Melancholies oftentimes nags and complains about almost everything. Sometimes, you just have to do it the way they want it for peace sake. And at other times, superior reasons and facts could also prevail. When melancholies are very happy in their marriage, it spills over to the entire family, and you’ll relish their warm and romantic qualities.
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