It’s possible that sometimes we could perhaps become too critical of ourself as to why we aren’t like this or that person because of some qualities they possess that we lack. Perhaps, you may have been either verbally critical of others or wishing that they acted or behaved like someone else. This is particularly common among parents, especially when they aren’t satisfied with the character, behaviours and attitudes of their kids. Consequently, they’ll begin to compare them with others and wishing that they were like those or that.
This comparisons, criticisms and also wishful thoughts about people’s traits are really not necessary, and they’re sometimes unhealthy for relationship. You need to understand that everyone is distinct and unique in their own way, with unique strengths and basic qualities courtesy of the temperament they’re born with or the category of temperament they belong. Thus, there is absolutely no need criticizing and condemning anyone, or even trying to compare them to others because of the way they acts or behaves.
It’s important we understand that no one can give what they’re destitute of, and no two persons can act, react, and behave exactly the same way. Even identical twins, despite similarities in some things, they’ll still have some differences in choices and perhaps in attitudes. This is basically because our temperaments which controls our individual traits is different from each person to another in either our primary or secondary temperament. These differences in temperaments and in combination with the level of development of our cerebrum, which is the part of the human brain that’s responsible for everyone’s reasoning and Intelligence makes us who we are.
In today’s post, we want to look at how we can leverage on our basic temperament strengths to build our persona. Rather than trying to copy or be like anyone, you need to think of how to build or develop your own persona based on your temperament strengths. For parents, rather than compare your kids to others and wishing they were like someone else, you need to help them discover their basic temperament and how to build their persona around these basic temperament strengths.
Let’s consider the four basic temperaments and their strengths plus how they can improve their persona based on those innate strengths:
More often than not, so many people behaves or acts in a particular way without really knowing why they act or behave the way they do. And since they’re ignorant of the temperaments, they often wished they were this or that person. You can’t be someone else, you can only be you. And you can only give what you’ve got. It’s rather easier to be the real you where you’ll effortlessly display your real traits and temperament strength, and get people identify you and your persona than be someone else, where you’ve got to struggle to mimic their lifestyle.
As a typical sanguine, you may admire and possibly be enthralled by the qualities and strengths of a typical melancholic temperament or any other temperament for that matter. There’s absolutely no problem with admiring the strengths and qualities of another temperament, as we often admire and are attracted to the good things about others. But it becomes a problem trying to be like them, thus denying people of your own persona and uniqueness. Every temperament has got a persona and unique style that people knows them for, and some persons loves and appreciates them for who they are. Therefore trying to be like someone else means denying your true identify, and also denying those persons the opportunity of connecting with your personality.
As someone who has got sanguine as their primary temperament, you’ve got a lively, charismatic, ebullient and very highly-spirited persona that people can relate with. Infact, you’re easily a people-oriented personality. You need to build and improve your persona on these strengths, through being more of a bridge-builder, mediator, guidance and counselor, sales and marketing personnel or any other profitable venture that’s very people-oriented, but must be devoid of too much attention to details, analysis, meticulousness and perhaps organization. This will not only make you unique, it will also distinguish you from the rest plus build your unique style (which is your persona) and make your temperament more relatable.
Similarly, as someone who has got a choleric temperament, you’re clearly a very pragmatic, hardworking, quick, decisive, dogged, productive and also courageous and self-sufficient person. Rather than wishing to be like the sanguine or any other temperament because of their own strengths and qualities, you’ve got to make very conscious and deliberate efforts in building your persona on these basic and innate strengths. You could improve yourself in leadership skills, project execution and supervision, you could be an activist, a motivator or any venture into any endeavor that requires forthrightness and being at the forefront of accomplishing a task. Among all the temperaments, typical cholerics are the temperament that are often being feared or looked up to, because of their courage, boldness and doggedness. This is who so many persons perceives you to be, thus you need to build your persona around these areas.
As a melancholy, you’re basically an introvert, the second introvert of the temperaments after the phlegmatics. Sometimes, you can’t help but to just admire and appreciate the strengths and qualities of a choleric and may be a sanguine to the extent that you may trifle your own admirable strengths and basic qualities of intelligence, discipline, conscientiousness, loyalty, trustworthiness, self-sacrifice and problem-solving ability. It’s a fact that most of the many introverts strengths are not visible to people. Especially the melancholies, they’ve got more strengths and potentials that people do not know about. And unless they’re very close to people who are aware of this, they’ll probably not be able to live up to or realize their full potential in life.
Melancholies and phlegmatics have got more untapped strengths and potentials than both sanguines and cholerics. But because they’re typical introverts who do not easily interact with others but more often keeps to themselves, these potentials remain unharnessed and their true worth and value is not known to people. It’s for this reason that a lot of people do not know many melancholy’s persona, but they’re very personable persons who are full of great potentials. I believe melancholies and phlegmatics must try as much as possible to more often come out of their cocoon and showcase their strengths and basic qualities. Melancholies could also as a matter of fact work remotely in using their creative writing skills and ability to positively impact the world. Or perhaps venture into some very impactful humanitarian services where their self-sacrificing nature will come to bare. These are the areas that they can build their persona and remain relevant.
Phlegmatics are more like it, similar to the melancholies. This is obviously not surprising since they both share some similar characteristics with their melancholic counterparts. Apart from the fact that melancholies are more detailed, analytical and down to earth, and are also more inconsistent in their character than phlegmatics, there’s really no much difference between these two. However, as a phlegmatic just like your melancholic counterpart, you also often admire and get attracted to the masculine qualities of a choleric and also the people-oriented nature of a sanguine.
You also sometimes wished you were like them, without realizing the fact that you’ve got your own admirable qualities of calmness, gentleness, graciousness, meticulous-patience, loyalty and efficient-organization. You know how to weather the storm, build bridges, make peace and calm frayed nerves. There are people who are desirous of these unique qualities, and the entire world is basically lacking in such persons. You could build your persona on these areas of your strengths and remain relevant through having more persons relate and connect with you based on your unique style.
Conclusively, every temperament has got something to offer the rest of us, and they can offer it in their own unique style, which is their persona. It’s absolutely unnecessary and very unwise trying to be like someone else, because no one can give what they’re destitute of. You need to discover who you are by knowing the temperament category you belong, and deliberately use your temperament strengths to build your persona that everyone can relate or make reference to.
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