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Typical Phlegmatic Temperament Major Weaknesses And Strengths:

First off, let’s consider some of the phlegmatic’s temperament strengths and qualities that enables them to navigate through life and succeed in their marriage, job and career, leadership, and of course interpersonal relationships with others.

Phlegmatics has got some strengths and qualities that usually enables them to succeed in various fields of life. Top among these qualities are, their calm, peaceful, gentle and quiet nature. These qualities makes them easily likeable by people, plus their congenial dispositions which also enables them to effortlessly succeed in interpersonal relationship with others.

It’s for this reason that predominant phlegmatics could easily find favour before any other temperament. However, they are the temperament that are more easily dominated and often taken advantage of, by other temperaments in their relationship because of their simplicity and quiet lifestyle.

In terms of their marriage and career, their loving, caring and commitment lifestyle to the good and well-being of their families, plus their peaceful and very organized qualities often helps their families to remain organized and bonded to one another.

When it comes to their career or jobs, phlegmatics are the most diligent and dedicated people. They take their routine jobs very seriously, and do it with calmness, without any noise and colour. If you need a very diligent and loyal employee, a phlegmatic is the best person to work with.

When it comes to leadership, a typical phlegmatic is a very passive leader. He’s rarely forceful, high-handed and bossy like his choleric counterpart. Because of their organized, congenial, adminstrative and calm qualities, they could be entrusted with some leadership positions.

But rarely do they stick out their necks to vie for leadership, unless they’ve got another more ambitious, enthusiastic self-motivated and active temperament of almost equal proportion to their basic phlegmatic temperament. Let’s consider in detail major strengths of phlegmatics especially in marriage.

The phlegmatic personality in erotic and interpersonal relationship demystified will help you to better understand who the predominant phlegmatic is, and the to relate and deal appropriately with him or her.

Major Strengths Of Phlegmatics In Marriage:

By nature, phlegmatic possess strengths that encourages and enables a very peaceful and organized home especially when married to someone who can satisfy their unending  passion and desire for care, attention and affection. Predominant phlegmatic spouses needs a dose of these three things to bring out the best qualities in them in their dating and marital relationships. Their efficient- organized and meticulously-patient nature is often an enabler of majority of their strengths in marriage, which helps them to maintain a good relationship with their family members barring some their weaknesses and oddities. Let’s us quickly consider some of the major strengths of a predominant phlegmatic spouse in marriage.

**Calm, Quiet & Gentle:**

Phlegmatics are naturally calm, quiet and gentle personalities. These qualities makes them to be easily likeable by others, thus they are usually the first to get help and assistance from people easily, ahead of other persons. A predominant phlegmatic person’s natural calmness, quietness and gentleness makes him an admiration to so many persons and often endears him to them at face value. They are so calm, unruffled and unabrasive that you would think they haven’t got any imperfection. Thus, so many persons would have fallen in love with them already or become emotionally attracted to them before they could realize it. Even in their sentimental and emotional life, it is basically these nice qualities that usually attracts their heartthrobs and endears their spouses to them, and consequently makes them think that they’ve got no problem and  are very close to being perfect.

Thus, trusting them so much to be innocent and without any fault whatsoever is the easiest thing. But a predominant person like any other temperament has got lots of weaknesses that could irritate and discourage their sweetheart if they’re discovered or made visible but rarely are the phlegmatic’s weaknesses and oddities visible, only close relationship and interaction with them will undoubtedly reveal majority of their natural weaknesses. However regardless of some of their natural deficiencies, a typical phlegmatic is naturally calm, quiet and gentle individual. You will only see him talk, smile and giggle when his sweetheart, confidants and admirers appreciates these qualities in him.

**Peaceful & Easygoing**

A predominant phlegmatic is a naturally peaceful and easygoing personality. He tends to always avoid whatever that will engender strife and conflict between him and others. Even if it will cost him to let go of his right and privilege, a typical phlegmatic will not hesitate to give them up just to run away from conflict and maintain peace. In his matrimonial home or dating relationship, he is that spouse or heartthrob that will rarely talk back at you in a very rude and aggressive manner regardless of how provoked they are, especially if they are the less influential or domineering in the relationship. It is either they will excuse themself out of the room or remain calm and collected, but majority of what they will do is often concealed in their mind. Depending on their secondary temperament or if perhaps they are overwhelmingly influenced by some external factors, a predominant phlegmatic personality consistently maintains this lifestyle. He is also the most easygoing and outwardly simple person, and seldom do people consider him as a threat or an enemy. His sweetheart and kids also feels relaxed and comfortable because of his peaceful,  calm and easygoing nature.

**Submissive & Respectful:**

Phlegmatics are naturally respectful persons, since they were taught and trained by their parents to respect people especially those they consider to be older than them. It is basically for this reason that even when they are provoked by a supposedly older person, they still try to maintain their cool and rarely react rudely and disrespectfully. In marriage and dating relationship, there is no other temperament that respects their spouse especially when they are far older than them more than a predominant phlegmatic; for despite their intimacy, they still consider age difference and always factor it into their relationship. Like their typical melancholy counterparts, predominant phlegmatics also maintains mutual respect for one another’s feelings in their marital relationship and also reciprocates their loved ones attention and affection towards them. Submissiveness is also another major strength and quality of a predominant phlegmatic spouse in their marital relationship especially a phlegmatic wife, but they could also be very stubborn and bullheaded if pushed to the brink. A typical phlegmatic wife or husband finds it very easy to submit and submerge their will into that of their spouse’s especially if their spouse is more assertive and influential than they are, perhaps because they lack the self-will and decisiveness. And if maybe they inherited this traits from their mother or grandmother or were probably raised to always be respectful and submissive, they will find it very difficult deviating from it. I honestly think that typical phlegmatic women who behaves this way are more common in some African and Asian countries than in the western countries since they came from a cultural heritage that values and lays so much emphasis on submission and respect for men.

**Conciliatory:**

Because of the desire to always be in a happy and frenzy mood and ambience with their sweetheart and loved ones, a predominant phlegmatic spouse is easily reconcilable or conciliatory whenever their heartthrob makes attempt to resolving their marital conflicts and disagreements. Sometimes even when they’re not the guilty one, they’ll still try to create that atmosphere for reconciliation to happen, this is often typical of predominant phlegmatic husbands. Apart from a sanguine spouse, a typical phlegmatic spouse is another person who does not like to carry over marital conflict and disagreements with their sweetheart till the next day. For they’re not hardhearted and also lack the strong-will to bear the pressure of remaining in an unfriendly and non-talking terms with their heartthrob for a longtime, thus they will do all they can to quickly settle their differences even if it will take them to succumb or bend towards the dictates of their spouse. If the feeling towards one another is mutual in their marriage, the couple will easily come together to settle their differences. Like their predominant melancholy and choleric wife counterparts, who their egocentric nature usually makes them reticent of being the first to initiate a peace process in their marriage, even when they could also be culpable in some way. A typical phlegmatic wife also takes the back seat and expect their husband to take the first step towards resolving any disagreement, usually from her standpoint of the fact that he is the man. And if this does not seem to be happening, and they are allowed to remain in that unpleasant and unfriendly situation for a very longtime, a predominant phlegmatic wife will dwell in self-pity and self-persecution which could lead them into depression. And the danger of this is that, if someone else who maybe feels their helplessness during that moment, and this person consistently showers them with enormous amount of care, attention and affection, the tendency towards becoming emotionally attracted to the person is not uncommon for them. After sanguines, typical phlegmatics seems to be the next most soft and tenderhearted, and easily conciliatory of the four temperaments.

**Emotionally Stable:**

Phlegmatics are the most consistent in their character and emotionally stable of the four temperaments. Everytime you see him, he always maintains his calm, quiet, gentle and unruffled nature. Emotionally, he is rarely at the rooftop, neither is he also at the ground floor. His love life and emotional attachment could best be described as lukewarm, neither cold nor hot. Though he usually feels more emotional than he often appears, but seldom does his emotions naturally lifts him so high that he becomes physically ecstatic or vocally and verbally aggressive, unless his secondary temperament is sanguine in very considerable amount. The typical phlegmatic spouse is one that could attain a new height in their job or career having been promoted with lots of financial benefits, or perhaps had won a jackpot, but will still remain calm and appear to be unexcited when breaking the news to their sweetheart, until their sweetheart erupts in shout and jubilation which could quickly motivate them to express more excitement and liveliness. Phlegmatics could also be provoked beyond limits and pushed to the precipice, but will conspicuously remain very calm, unreactive and unruffled even when you are expecting them to react angrily.

Predominant phlegmatic spouse’s emotional stability usually enables them to maintain a calm and peaceful ambience with others both in and outside their home, and also maintain a very organized and non-raucous scene when they are extremely excited especially if their secondary temperament is melancholy. Typical phlegmatics needs very active, lively and expressive partners who can motivate them to making their emotional ecstasy more visible, and also act and react when they are meant to. For they often feel more emotionally ecstatic than they appear to be. A phlegmatic spouse is someone that may be emotionally and sexually attracted to their sweetheart, but will seldom express it unless their partner is sensitive enough to their emotional needs and decide to motivate them into making their sensuality and sexual escapades come to bare on their sexual experiences.

**Domestically Savvy:**

Although child training and upbringing may be very impactful, thus bringing up the argument about who is more domestically savvy among the four temperaments. But naturally, no one enjoys doing domestic chores with calmness without getting bored more than a well-raised phlegmatic. The predominant phlegmatic’s passion for consistently engaging in yardcare, cleaning his house and surrounding, cooking, doing his laundry activities and often keeping and maintaining a very neat and organized environment is incomparable to any other temperament especially if his secondary temperament is melancholy. Eventhough sometimes, procrastination and perhaps laziness may make him always postpone what he ought to do now, but if well-raised to be active and domestically savvy, a typical phlegmatic usually enjoys doing domestic chores more than any other temperament. A phlegmatic spouse or parent is one who will rarely leave the house or let their heartthrob come back home without making sure that everywhere is tidied up. If they are happy in their matrimonial home, and if other external negative influence hasn’t find their way into their lifestyle or perhaps their job or career isn’t taken a better part of their time, keeping everywhere clean and organized, and doing their domestic chores is not a difficult thing for them. Although they may be sluggish and slow in whatever they’re doing, but slowly and steadily they do it nonetheless. Their efficient- organized and meticulously-patient qualities enables them to do a better job.

****Commitmet & Attention:**

Unless they are careerists or allow their job to inadvertently occupy a better part of their time phlegmatic spouses are very committed to their sweetheart and family. Asides the typical melancholy personalities, typical phlegmatics gives attention to their loved ones and family members and are very much committed to their well-being more than they are to anyone else. It is basically for this reason that they  bond well with their spouse and kids and also builds a very successful home and family with their temperamentally compatible spouse in their marital relationship.

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Let’s now consider in details, some of the Major weaknesses of phlegmatics that often affects them in life:

Phlegmatics are the most gentle, quiet gracious, and efficiently organized individuals among the temperaments, and these attributes consequently makes them easily likeable.

They may not have to encounter much problems in their marriage and in interpersonal relationship with others, since they’re more often than not dominated and subdued by others in the relationship. But just like every other temperament phlegmatics have their own major weaknesses which among other things, often affects his personal success in life.

Phlegmatic’s weaknesses mainly affects his personal success, that is reaching the height of success he’s meant to attain in life as an individual and most times in raising his kids.

And it could be further worsened if he’s been influenced negatively by weaknesses of other temperaments like the sanguine and melancholy. In this post, we want to consider some five major weaknesses of a typical phlegmatic that negatively affects his personal success in life.

Major Weaknesses of Predominant Phlegmatics In Life:

1. Lack of Motivation:

This is one of the major weakness of a phlegmatic which limits him in life. A phlegmatic is ill-motivated or lacks the self-motivation to push himself up to stepping on the first rung of the ladder of his personal endeavor and success, outside his success in career or job.

He often restricts himself by being comfortable in his comfort zone, and he could remain confined to that zone as long as he’s happy and relaxed. He may desire something or have big dreams, but he’s the least motivated person to dare going for it or taking a step towards realizing his dreams.

Many phlegmatics dies with their dreams, desires and aspirations not fulfilled, while some lives never to accomplish them if they dare taking the first step because they lack the determination to persist. He often becomes a spectator in life, because he’ll rather watch things happen or watch others do what he’s got the opportunity to do, but failed to do it.

Never tell a him about your big dreams and visions, because his first reaction and disposition will be very discouraging for you to go ahead with it. Many phlegmatics do not achieve tremendous success in doing great and extraordinary things in life, because they lack self-motivation, which consequently makes them believe that they can’t, unless they’re consistently pushed.

They could be successful in their career and rise to executive levels in their jobs, but rarely do they achieve personal success outside their jobs and careers. Unless they’ve got a secondary temperament like choleric or melancholy at almost equal ratio or proportions, they’ll hardly motivate themselves to achieving much more than they could have achieved in life.

2. Indecision:

Phlegmatics like their name implies are very slow and sluggish in character, being lackadaisical and painfully docile is also not uncommon for them. Sorry, if that hurts, you don’t need to be hurt or displeased because that’s just your nature and everyone needs to understand that.

This attitude permeates into every aspects of a phlegmatic’s life, even in taking decisions. Phlegmatics are rarely decisive people. Eventhough the buck stops on his table, he will rather delay or procrastinate in taking a decision until everything gets worse or bastardized.

He’s not prompt in making decisions since he needs to get everyone to agree with and support him even in the most critical situation before he can take any decision. A phlegmatic is rather reactive than being a proactive individual, he’ll often wait and watch things happen and gradually go very bad before he’ll begin to seek opinions and advice from people on what to do. This trait no doubt negatively affects his success in life, especially when entrusted with leadership, where others looks up to him for guidance and direction.

Apart from a melancholy who comes close, who always wants to get all the facts and details before arriving and sticking to his decision. A phlegmatic for no obvious reasons, often by act of procrastination, delays deciding on anything as long as the situation hasn’t gone so bad, and also if he’s presently happy and relaxed. But if phlegmatics can be more prompt in making decisions and be proactive rather than reactive, they’ll make very good and effective leaders.

3. Lack of Vision:

As long as a phlegmatic is relaxed, happy and comfortable in his present comfort zone, he thinks of no other thing than to make everyone happy and comfortable, and everywhere conducive and organized as he can. He’s not a visionary individual. Thus, big and extraordinary achievements often eludes him.

I’ve known many phlegmatics who had opportunities to do big and very remarkable things for themselves and the society at large, and reach the zenith of success in their endeavor, but they let all those opportunities slip and couldn’t make use of them to transform lives, or at least make themself a force to reckon with, because they lack vision and are contented with their little successess and achievements.

Lack of vision has hindered so many phlegmatics from achieving big things. Whereas, other temperaments like Cholerics and Melancholies have utilized the same opportunities to transform lives, turn things around and had become very renowned personalities in the world because of their personal achievements.

But if phlegmatics will deliberate about learning to not be contented with little successess in their comfort zone, but have visions of achieving or accomplishing big and uncommon things, they’ll be happier and more successful.

4. Lack of Determination:

This is another weakness that also hinders phlegmatics from climbing the next rung of the ladder of success in life. He could take the first step towards achieving his goals or visions if he’s got one, but he’ll within a very short while backtrack or succumb to some little pressures, challenges and unforseen circumstances immediately he encounters any, along his way.

A phlegmatic easily yield to pressures and challenges more than any other temperament, because he does not want anything to be a source of conflict to him, especially in his relaxed and excited mood.

Unless he’s trained never to bow to pressures and challenges or has another secondary temperament of either melancholy or choleric, which are more determined than his basic phlegmatic traits, and which must also be in almost equal ratios with his primary phlegmatic temperament, he’ll find it very difficult holding on to what he believes in.

5. Fear of the Unknown:

Phlegmatics are like oysters, overly secured but not creative. For to live creatively, one must be able to stick out his neck and tread on unknown paths. But rarely do phlegmatics stick out their necks to tread on paths unknown to them or they are totally unfamiliar with.

Phlegmatics likes the already known and treaded paths and often sticks to it, until he’s forced to go through the paths unknown to him in order to accomplish a task. Predominant Phlegmatics are overly conscious of their security and safety, and they’ll rather not go to people, places or environment that they’re not familiar with just for the fear of what they might encounter.

He often sticks to himself and his environment. This attitude more often than not affects his success in life, and makes him miss so many valuable opportunities to become exceptionally successful. Fear of the unknown, taking risks, and also attempting to do something new or different, had obviously made many phlegmatics miss some valuable opportunities to better their lives.

If phlegmatics could be a little bit more flexible and open to attempting something new and different, they will become more creative in their approach to things and also more successful in life.

Major Weaknesses Of Phlegmatics In Marriage:

Despite having some nice and admirable qualities that usually endears them to people and also encourages and enables a peaceful, organized and happy marriage and family, the phlegmatic spouse is certainly not without some notable sets of weaknesses. As said earlier, majority of these weaknesses are rarely visible but usually manifests during close relationship and interaction, particularly in their marriage with their sweetheart and family.

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A predominant phlegmatic may appear to be very gentle and peaceful outside their home, but are usually very aggressive and domineering in their matrimonial home especially if their secondary temperament is choleric. They could also be very calm and quiet outside, but in their home with their loved ones and family members, they could talk excessively especially if they’ve got sanguine as their second temperament. Phlegmatics and melancholies seem to be more active and lively in their homes than they are outside, since they are naturally introverts. It’s mainly for this reason that if you want to know the real them, just ask their spouse and children, for they know the real them better than you do. Let us briefly consider some of the major weaknesses of a predominant phlegmatic spouse in their marital relationship and family life.

**Selfish & Stingy:**

Selfishness and stinginess is one of the phlegmatic spouse’s weakness in marriage and family life. A predominant phlegmatic spouse and parent desires everything good for themself alone, this desire usually makes them withhold more than they should, thus they will rarely give out or release anything to anyone even to their spouse and kids unless it surplus to requirement. He’s basically that spouse that could have a million dollar in his account but will find it very difficult meeting a fifty thousand dollars need or desire of his spouse but he will promise his sweetheart of fulfilling their desire when he receives his allowance, because he wants his account balance to be at one million dollar threshold. A typical phlegmatic parent could also have enough money and resources to enable his family live very comfortably, feed very well and look good, but his desire to save or have more money in his account balance will make him unwilling to give his family a quality life and very comfortable living.

His kids could probably request for their tuition and money for other activities in school, but rather than withdraw some money from his account to immediately solve his kid’s problems, a typical phlegmatic parent will promise meeting their needs when he gets his next pay, and he may also continuously procrastinate until he is pushed or they become unruly. He’s also very stingy to himself, he could have enough money to take care of himself and look good but his desire to save more, so he will brag and feel very confident of himself usually makes him unable to live and enjoy a quality or even moderate lifestyle. No one keeps records of any money given to you more than a predominant phlegmatic spouse and parent, and you must explain how that money was utilized before requesting for another. This could be worsened if they have melancholy as their secondary temperament and perhaps as they get older in life. If not married to a much more generous and handy person or has got sanguine or choleric as their secondary temperament, a predominant phlegmatic personality will overly be selfish and stingy in their marriage.

****Fear Of Taking Responsibility:**

No other temperament fears or let say, reticent of taking responsibilities more than a typical phlegmatic spouse and parent. His first and initial reaction whenever whatever that will get him commit himself to taking a particular responsibility will usually be negative. He will most likely grimace and frown the moment he senses that it’s about financial responsibility. A typical phlegmatic husband does not like his sweetheart to complain to him about money or make him feel that he’s got another pending financial responsibility to undertake when he feels that he has done his best for them. It does not take too long for his children to know that Dad is stingy and does not like to give; for when they come to him to ask for money or maybe anything that will make them spend money, his negative facial expressions and unending questions about what they need money for, makes the kids grow with that mindset and they are usually scared of meeting him for their financial need and wants. The fear of taking responsibilities particularly financial responsibilities in their home, undoubtedly predisposes them to becoming skulduggery in relating with their spouse and kids in other to avoid having conflicts with them and still be able to keep their resources.

****Docile & Weak-willed:**

Naturally, a phlegmatic is very docile and Weak-willed, and if raised by a predominant phlegmatic parent, this weakness will be so much embedded and domineering in them. Unless they’re pushed and forced to act by sweethearts and loved ones, predominant phlegmatics are rarely self-motivated to act or do anything on their own. Thus, docility and lack of will often becomes one of their main undoing in their marital relationship. This weakness do not only affect their ability to achieve tremendous personal success, but it also negatively impacts on their child training ability. For docility and lack of self-will usually makes him condone majority of misbehaviour of his kids, and perhaps cannot stand seeing them cry. For a typical phlegmatic mother, the cry of kids usually emotes in them a feeling of  pity that could easily make her rescind her decision to discipline them. While a typical phlegmatic father who may be motivated and decisive in instilling discipline in his kids, but if they become too stubborn and bullheaded, he will not hesitate to backtrack, and maybe fearful of wielding stick on them. It’s basically for this reason that most kids who are under the care of predominant phlegmatics or were raised by them, usually grow up to become very stubborn and unruly to their phlegmatic parents, since they lack the determination and strong-will to inculcate discipline and sound moral values in them.

****Inability To Withstand Pressure:**

No one vicillates under pressure more than a predominant phlegmatic. Of the four basic temperaments, phlegmatic personalities seem to have the least containment and elasticity to bear and withstand pressures, thus they easily get deformed and deflated under the least amount of pressure. In their dating and marital relationship, very little unresolved disagreements which perhaps had lasted more than they expected, or any kind of attitude and behaviour from their sweetheart that seems to make them feel uncomfortable, usually unsettles and make them feel very unsecured. Nothing unsettles a predominant phlegmatic spouse more than internal aggression, challenges and conflicts especially with their spouse in marriage or with their heartthrob in dating relationship. Apart from a predominant sanguine spouse who comes close, no other temperament secretly takes their marital issues, especially very unpleasant ones outside, more than a predominant phlegmatic. P

Phlegmatics do not hesitate to intentionally or unintentionally tell their extended family members, colleagues, friends and admirers about what they’re going through in their matrimonial home, if perhaps the challenges had become so unbearable for them. The subtle desire to attract everyone’s sympathy, attention and compassion usually predisposes them to taking some of their   rather unfortunate marital issues to persons who they consider to be close to them. Never subject your typical phlegmatic sweetheart to pressure, for they lack the capacity to handle and withstand pressure for too long without letting their extended family members, friends and confidants know about what’s going on in your family. And if they’ve been completely dominated by fear, and perhaps continuously threatened by a highly domineering spouse, typical phlegmatic spouses will be so fearful of speaking up about their very unfortunate experiences in their matrimonial home. It’s for this reason that among the four temperaments, an inexperienced and fearful  phlegmatic spouses seem to suffer more physical marital abuses than any other.

How Can Phlegmatics Overcome Their Weaknesses?

In one of my previous post about how to manage your temperament weaknesses, I stated the fact that influence is one major way everybody could be able to manage the various weaknesses associated with their temperament. When we interact and relate amongst ourselves, there’s every possibility that we could influence one another, one way or another.

As a typical phlegmatic, by making other temperaments who has got strengths that typifies courage, self-sufficiency, decisiveness and determination as your close friends, you’ll basically be influenced by their strengths. And the best temperament that has got such strengths, is a typical choleric.

As a phlegmatic, by relating and interacting frequently with someone who has got choleric as their primary temperament, you’ll no doubt gradually reduce the impact of your temperament weaknesses on you. And the choleric person will also learn to be a more organized and considerate individual. This is exactly the way influence shapes our character.

In addition to that, and to further help you to not only managing your temperament weaknesses, but to also see if you can totally overcome it, I’d like to recommend Spirit-controlled temperament by Tim Lahaye, to you. This book helped me in my early days when I was seriously battling with self-persecution and low self-esteem as a melancholy.

From the spiritual angle, the book will help you to completely overcome some of the weaknesses associated with your temperament, and make you a better person. The book is available on Amazon online store.

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