Which Temperament Should A Predominant Melancholic Marry?

Best Compatible Temperament For A Predominant Melancholic Personality:

As a result of so many inquiries I often do see online by lots of persons as it relates to temperament compatibility in marriage. I have decided to revisit this topic from a much specific and precise perspective in order to be able to give my sincere and honest opinion to my readers on this topic. It’s my wish that at the end of reading this post, you will get a much broader view and understanding of what marriage between a predominant melancholic personality and other temperaments will look like, and also the temperament that i think will best complement them in marriage.

However, before we get into detail about this topic, it’s important we establish the fact that temperament compatibility in marriage isn’t that couples must be very much compatible in their lifestyle and traits, likes and dislikes or act and react in similar way. It is rather about finding out what strengths and qualities that’s in the other person, that often interests and also attracts you to them, much more than their weaknesses or oddities will repel you. It is about finding someone who their character is very much complementary to yours, and you always feel so much attracted to them because of their strengths and qualities, despite all their weaknesses and oddities.

It’s therefore very reasonable that when contemplating tieing the nuptial knot, we ought not to insist on marrying someone who behaves, acts and reacts exactly like we do, likes and dislikes whatever we also approve and disapproves, or maybe marry someone because of how good-looking they appear. There’s none other reason that is cogent enough for marrying a lifetime partner other than for the fact that their temperament strengths and qualities, plus their basic weaknesses is complementary enough to yours, and you always admire and feel so much attracted to them because of their strengths regardless of their innate weaknesses. It’s these innate strengths and qualities which are no doubt embedded in their temperament type that will suffice to keep you going in the marriage when it get messy along your marital journey.

I always advice intending couples to marry other persons whose temperament type or at least their predominant temperament is different from theirs. Though not trying to discourage you from tieing the knot with a person who has got the same temperament type as yourself, but if you want to see and appreciate varieties of personality traits in your home and make it more complete and fun, and also avoid the weaknesses of one particular temperament to become very much embedded in your kids, then tieing the knot with dissimilar temperaments is the best way to go. Moreover, I’ve found out that those who married persons who has got similar temperaments to theirs, actually witnesses more boring than fun moments in their marriage more than the ones who choose to marry temperament types that is different from theirs.

Some of the main disadvantages of tieing the nuptial knot with similar temperament to yours is that, your weaknesses will often be a major factor in the marriage, either when some conflicting issues arises, or in being able to properly manage the home. For instance, what becomes of the home when a moody and nagging melancholic marries another moody and also nagging melancholic person? Or an unserious and undisciplined sanguine also tieing the knot with another unserious and undisciplined sanguine personality? Or perhaps a very timid, fearful, unmotivated and indecisive phlegmatic being married to same type of person? And lastly, what will be the fate of a home where a highly domineering, very inconsiderate and unemotional choleric person marries similar temperament who also possesses similar weaknesses? I think your guess is as good as mine. Secondly, another disadvantage of marrying similar temperament type is that, there’ll be very little or no back and forth influence in the marriage between the spouses.

Marriage is basically supposed to be about companionship, partnership and building together. And as these three things are in effect, influence is expected to go back and forth between both spouses, where each one of them with different temperament strength and qualities, influences the other with those strengths, and they’ll gradually make their weaknesses less overwhelming.

Thus, if the couples have got the same type of temperament, definitely none of them will be well able to positively influence the other with his or her basic strengths, since they’ve got the same natural weaknesses and strengths. The last disadvantage of getting married to persons of the same type of temperament is that, your temperament weaknesses will be so much overwhelming and embedded in your kids. I believe this is self-explanatory enough. Having made it clear what temperament compatibility in marriage is about, and the need to marry other temperaments different from yours. Let’s now get into the meat of our topic for today.

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Which Temperament Should A Typical Melancholic Marry? Before i will answer this question, we’ll first of all look at what is likely to happen or what to expect in a marital relationship between a typical melancholic personality and the other temperaments, or what to expect when a predominant melancholic person marries a sanguine, choleric or phlegmatic. I’ll first off, deal with this before giving my honest and sincere opinion on who I suppose a predominant melancholic person should tie the nuptial knot with. Let’s go!

Marital Relationship Between A Typical Melancholic And Sanguine:

Like I said in one of my previous post, this is a marriage between a highly extroverted person like the sanguine, and introverted personality like the melancholic. I strongly disapprove of this marriage, unless if the sanguine spouse has got another secondary temperament that’s of substantial amount compared to his or her basic or primary sanguine temperament say a 60:40 or 55:45 percent blend ratio. This is because, apart from the convivial energy sanguines often bring onboard in their erotic relationship, and the fun, lively and warm ambience they always create in their homes, plus the expression of love they often showcase to members of their family, through taking them out for shopping and going on a fun date moments with their spouse. However, sanguines have got more weaknesses that often annoy and irritates their melancholic spouse more than any other temperament.

Top among the predominant sanguine’s weaknesses are their very unserious and undisciplined lifestyle. The sanguine is a happy-go-lucky personality, who loves to be as free as the air. No wonder they are described as air. Thus, trying to regulate or cage them, or perhaps being temperate in their lifestyle is an uphill task for them. He is rarely a serious and disciplined person, panders to almost anything that looks very attractive to the eyes and pleasant to the ears. His unserious and undisciplined way of life often makes him exaggerate, talk too much until he exposes weaknesses, and also makes him make so many mistakes that he will frequently apologize for. He’s rarely an organized person in talking. Most of the sanguine’s mistakes or offences often comes from their loquacious attitude and lifestyle. Because they do not know when and how to moderate and organize their speech when they’re in the public.

Another lifestyle of a typical sanguine that often annoys and makes their melancholic spouse feel bored in their marriage, is the sanguine’s little or lack of commitment and giving attention to members of his family. The sanguine is a fun-loving and enjoying person, who often relishes spending time with friends and admirers in camaraderie atmosphere outside his home.

He could leave his house very early in the morning and return to his home late in the evening, not because he is doing anything worth- while, but fun and happy moments with his friends and admirers had taken all his time. Consequently, these lifestyle or attitude often irritates their melancholic spouse, that it could make them shout and nag at them uncontrollably, and may even become verbally abusive of them, since they’re the direct opposite of these natural negative traits.

The typical melancholy’s perfectionist trait and lifestyle makes them nag frequently whenever things does not go the way they believed it should. Thus, nagging and being overly irritated by their sanguine partner’s weaknesses is not uncommon for them. A marital relationship between these couples is likely to witness more conflicting than very peaceful and happy moments in their marriage. And I strongly hold the opinion that these couples are the least compatible when it comes to marriage.

A marriage between typical sanguine and typical melancholic is usually one where the melancholic spouse will often nag and complain about their sanguine spouse’s weaknesses or every little misdemeanor by them, and they’ll often criticize them until the sanguine spouse will begin to feel that they’re worthless to, or not worthy of them.

Unless the sanguine spouse has got another secondary temperament in substantial amount, that will help to ameliorate the negative impact of these weaknesses on them, this marriage will rarely work. But I will advice the woman to be the sanguine, since women appears to be much more responsive and committed to their family more than men, even if they were carefree and undisciplined as the sanguine, in their traits and lifestyle.

Marital Relationship Between A Typical Melancholic And Choleric:

This is also a marriage between introvert melancholy, who’s very reserved and less outgoing, and an extrovert choleric who is very expressive and more outgoing than their melancholic counterpart. Although the choleric is extroverted personality like the sanguine, thus spending more of their time outside than in their home is usually not uncommon for them. However, unlike their typical sanguine counterparts, who fun and hanging out with friends could make them deny their spouse and kid their attention and commitment. For a cholerics, work and activities, achieving their career, business and 💰 money goals are the main things that are often responsible for giving less attention and commitment to member of their family.


Notwithstanding, the typical choleric is a very inconsiderate, unemotional and very domineering personality. Thus, they’ll not hesitate to lash out at their spouse should they complain, with the fact that they work hard to meet all their needs, and are taking care of all the basic needs of the family, and what more do they want from them. Without also considering the fact that their spouse equally needs their attention and affection in the marriage. This is typical of predominant male choleric, or a female choleric who may actually be responsible for meeting all the needs of the family, or perhaps the breadwinner in the home.

The domineering, insensitive, high-handed plus the aggressive behaviours of typical cholerics are some of the main weaknesses of a predominant choleric personality that often tends to trigger marital conflicts in their marriage with a melancholic person. Similarly, the perfectionist mentality of the melancholic spouse, plus their moody and nagging attitude, and perhaps their selfish character which they often express in not willing to accept their faults or trying to trivialize them, while they do vehemently criticize others are some of the weaknesses of a predominant melancholic that doesn’t go down well with their choleric spouse. In this marriage, ego is a major factor these couple battles with, and it could also make them unable to settle their differences in real time.

Both melancholic and choleric persons are persons of class and ego, who often places themselves so high. Thus, when they are brought together by marriage, it isn’t much an uncommon thing for their ego to clash. For this two temperaments, ego and also the feeling of self-importance could make them not to accept their faults and quickly apologize to each other. This is the type of marriage where marital disagreements or conflicts could be carried over to the next day, and even last longer than necessary, just for the reason that both of them are looking at who will be the first person to blink the eye.

This is also a marriage where the strengths of both spouses could also be a contributor to their marital conflict. The melancholic spouse being a very detailed, intelligent and perfectionist person, who loves to plan and strategize before doing anything, or embarking on any action, could be very pissed by the impulsive attitudes of their very decisive, courageous and assertive choleric spouse. This is often encountered in situations wherein the choleric spouse may make a unilateral decision and take a particular action without the consent of their melancholic spouse. Thus, will want to make them feel that they’ve got the right, and their decision is final, this is often the case with a choleric husband. Or a typical melancholic husband feeling that his right or authority is often being usurped, if it is a typical choleric wife that’s making all the decision.

In either of the cases above, a predominant melancholic spouse will not hesitate to let their choleric spouse realize that they are very important, and they’ve got no right to make decisions or take certain actions that concerns the family without their consent. Infact, they’d want to let them know that they’re more knowledgeable and cerebral than they are, thus has got no right to take decisions without asking for their opinion. Consequently, disagreements and clashes of interest will be something that these two couples are likely to battle with in the early stages of their marriage.

However, regardless of their weaknesses or personal oddities, which often tends to militate against their marriage, and scuttle their success. Melancholics and cholerics has got more strengths that often interests them about, and also attracts them to each other much more than their weaknesses repels them.

Marital Relationship Between A Typical Melancholic And Phlegmatic:

This is a marriage between two introverts. Ordinarily, this marriage is supposed to be the most calm, quiet and peaceful, where the couples relishes the love they’ve got for one another in a very romantic style. Yes, melancholic and phlegmatic spouses really do enjoy their marriage especially in early stages when internal and external conflicts had not find its way into their union. And who says they cannot quietly relish their marriage when they’ve no doubt got some personable qualities that they often admire in each other, and are also attracted to one another by those qualities.

But it might also interest you to know that these are the two temperaments that often goes into marriage without enough dating experience, thus may be confused about the kind of person that’s suitable for them in marriage. Consequently, after so many years down the marriage, they’ll discover that those physical qualities and traits of calmness, gentleness, meekness, kindness, comportment and discipline that initially attracted them to each other can no longer suffice to keep them very much happy with each other in the marriage, and they will begin to admire some other qualities in the other two temperaments of choleric and sanguine.

Being the two highly emotional persons, who are easily responsive and sensitive to love and affection, typical melancholic and phlegmatic couples will have no difficulty falling in love with each other, and also quietly enjoy their marriage. Domestically also, they seem to complement each other to a very large extent, and both of them are so much committed and attached to their family more than to anyone else. For these two couples, if there were no pressures or challenges either internal or external, they will almost be without any marital conflict, will live and enjoy their marriage together.

But rarely will there not be any pressure or any marital relationship that is devoid of any kind of troubles whether from without or from within, which is basically where these two couples will be tested. There are some basic weaknesses that often tends to scuttle the success of a marriage between a predominant melancholic and phlegmatic spouse. And when they eventually find the exact opposite of all these weaknesses in others, which is basically the strength of other temperaments, they do not hold back their admiration for them.

Some of the natural weaknesses of typical phlegmatics and melancholics that often tends to negatively affect their marriage are; fear, timidity, inferiority, lack of self- confidence and courage. Although typical phlegmatics often battles with all these natural oddities more than melancholics. However, when these two temperaments gets married to each other, and since they must influence one another positively or negatively, the melancholic spouse, being somewhat a forthright, confident and also courageous person more than his or her phlegmatic counterpart, will no doubt be very much influenced by these weaknesses that are embedded and overwhelming in a typical phlegmatic spouse.

These couples often battles with fear and lack of courage in facing and confronting some challenges of life, especially coming from without. When they are confronted with challenges, none of them will be bold and courageous enough to tackle it, since they’ve been overwhelmed by fear and trepidation. When external aggression sets in, none of them has got what it takes to motivate and encourage the other to go ahead and confront it, because they are often dominated by fear of the unknown. It is for this reason that a lot of persons often takes them for granted, and some also do take advantage of their simplicity and also capitalize on their weaknesses to hurt or undo them.

The melancholic and phlegmatic couples also raises the most fearful and timid kids who often battles with low self-esteem and poor self-image. This is not surprising since they were raised by parents who couldn’t build their self-confidence because they also battles with this weakness themselves. In order to know how your temperament impacts on your child training ability, and how to raise very confident kids as typical phlegmatic parent, I will recommend you order, read personality plus for parents written by Florence Littauer. One major factor that could make these couples feel bored in their marriage is lack of fun and spice in the marriage, outside their home. Both melancholic and phlegmatic persons often admires a very protective, confident and also charismatic partner that can take them out for fun date moments, shopping or on an adventure.

But because of fear of the unknown, and lack of courage and charisma to face the crowd, these couple will rarely find time to go out together but will rather prefer to sit back in their home and relish their good moment. However, when they meet other more charismatic, courageous and also outgoing persons who are always eager to take them out, or perhaps have friends and colleagues who often goes out together as couples for shopping and fun date times, the tendency toward becoming attracted to them or maybe begin to allow comparisons to often holdsway in their marriage is not uncommon for them. It is basically for this reason that a lot of typical melancholic and phlegmatic spouses later begins to fancy a very charismatic, courageous and outgoing temperament like the typical sanguine and choleric.

A marital relationship between a typical melancholic and phlegmatic could be very peaceful and romantic at least within the confines of their home, and barring any external pressure or challenge. But they’ll often have problem facing some external aggressions because of fear and timidity. And if perhaps the phlegmatic spouse has got friends and colleagues who influences them negatively or try to make them feel that they deserve a better treatment, this could affect their marital relationship in the long run. Let me now go back to giving my honest answer to the question:

Which Temperament Should A Typical Melancholic Personality Marry?

This question is subjective. It depends on what you want. Like I stated in this post, and in numerous posts on this blog, that temperament compatibility in marriage is basically discovering what you want and desire most from your partner. It’s mainly natural strengths and qualities that they’ve got, courtesy of the temperament they are born with, which often interests you, and also attracts you more to them. These strengths and qualities must be very much complimentary to your own primary and secondary temperament weaknesses and strengths, and fascinating enough to make you overlook their weaknesses.

As for this question, the first question you have to ask yourself is what do you want. Which strengths and qualities attracts you more to the other person, which could be enough to make you overlook or manage their weaknesses? If all you want is a fun loving, charismatic and outgoing partner who will always take you out for shopping and fun date moments, and these qualities will suffice to keep you in the marriage despite all their weaknesses, then you can go for a predominant sanguine personality. And if you desire a very calm, quiet, very peaceful and organized partner, and these qualities are capable of keeping you glued to them in marriage, then a predominant phlegmatic personality is who you should consider marrying.

But to give my honest answer and opinion to this question, I honestly think the best temperament a typical melancholic should consider tieing the nuptial knot with, is a predominant choleric personality. But I’d prefer the man should be the melancholic and the woman, choleric. A melancholic and choleric marriage is a marriage where both spouses understand themselves more than anyone understands them. A marital relationship between these two couples often makes people wonder how a very simple, quiet, easygoing and somewhat fearful melancholic, is able to cope with the aggressive, domineering and also high- handed attitude of a choleric personality.

But don’t worry yourself about them, for these two couples know and understands themselves better than anyone else. One major thing I find intriguing about these couples is that they know how to bring out some of the desirable hidden qualities in each other. Ordinarily, a melancholic is a naturally forthright and very courageous person, but fear and timidity sometimes do not allow these qualities to shine. But when they marry a fearless and more confident and courageous choleric these qualities are often brought to light. Similarly, for typical cholerics, they’re naturally intelligent and disciplined personalities, but some of their impulsive and inconsiderate attitude make them sometimes act unintelligently. When they marry a very intelligent, detailed and conscientious melancholic, they gradually begin to showcase these qualities in their endeavors in life.

Melancholic and choleric spouses have got various strengths and qualities they often admire in each other, that also keeps them bonded together. They complement each other in so many areas in their marriage. Much of the conflict they will encounter is usually in the early stages of their marital journey, and they often do later outgrow it and begin appreciate their strengths and qualities more than dwell so much on their weaknesses. If a typical melancholic and choleric marriage can survive the first five years, trust that it’ll certainly last a lifetime for after these first five years, the couples would have been able to understand how compatible and complimentary they are to each other, learnt to pull their individual strengths together, and put them ahead of their basic weaknesses. When these couple decides to pull their strengths together and work in unity, they do make an unbeatable partners.

Some of the strengths and qualities they often find very interesting and attractive in each other are; for the melancholic man, he admires a courageous, fearless, highly sophisticated, disciplined and romantic woman, who’s very responsible to his kids, and also adores him more than any other person, and often treats him like her king especially in public places and outings. With all these strengths and qualities, the typical melancholic man’s undying love will be accentuated. And all these qualities can only be found in predominant choleric woman, which she will bring to bare in her marriage if she finds the right man that is deserving of her.

As for the typical choleric woman, some of the strengths and qualities that interests, and often attracts her to her man are; his loyalty and commitment to her and their marriage, self-discipline, public composure and comportment, a very principled man who keeps and stands by his words, good looking, intelligent, a visionary man with great vision and ambition, and responsible to his family and kids. A predominant choleric woman is ready to be consumed in love, and surrender her ego and self-will if she finds a man that typifies all of these qualities. And no other temperament fits well into this description more than typical melancholic man. For further reading on temperament compatibility in marriage I’ll recommend you order, read personality plus for couples by Florence Littauer.

I want to believe that to the best of my ability, I have been able to answer this question, and also satisfy your curiosity about which temperament category a predominant melancholic should marry. If you find this post helpful, kindly buy me a cup of coffee or support me to maintain this blog’s running cost. Thanks.

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